So here’s what I found out in the first episode…. My wife loves Chad or AKA “HEYYY Chad”
Other than that, everything’s a blur. So now on to episode 2 (hour one):
Chad (HEYYY CHAD) comes with the zinger with a drink toast in the morning…
“Beautiful girl beatiful life… F&$@ you guys Imma make her my wife.”
If this was Bad Girls club , boys edition, glass would be broken. And their would be blood. Lots of it.
So on to the group and one on one dates
First date card:
We’re in LA… There’s a limo on fire. CHASE says, “Is JoJo in there should I be a hero? Nah bro, just extinguish that weak one liner.
And then a 90’s pop hot girl music video breaks out… JoJo comes out of a fire truck with a hose and puts out the fire from the limo. So there’s that.
And to end the segment… Chad, sorry, “HEYY CHAD” throws out that everyone on the first date are “B” teamers. Got it.
Fire academy competition:
I know we have to have filler for what seems like a six hour show each week, but these have ZERO effect on who JoJo will choose, UNLESS YOU ATE A FIRE FIGHTER NAMED GRANT.
Wells looks like he’s about to lose his life, and about to pass out during the competition, and then Wells goes in with the “when I talk to you I feel like I’m gonna faint” one liners.
Back to the house:
James T. (The guitar dude) with a song that the rest of the dudes sing along to.
And Chad, sorry, “HEYY CHADD” puts things in perspective… With pure 100 percent hate.
I’m with Chad. This boy band song deal is worth the hate.
Back to firefighter competition:
GRANT THE FIREFIGHTER is In a competition with Luke and Wells to save JoJo from the top of a building:
1. Wells was done before this started.
2. Luke and Grant and going at it… In the end it was… GRANT THE FIREFIGHER. HES A FIRE FIGHTER. HE IS A PROFESSIONAL FIREDFIGHTER HE WAS GOING TO DO WORK! DUH!
And to add the icing on the cake… He carried her out of the building…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Good stuff right there.
The guys head to a hotel and get to know JoJo… Starting with the FIREFIGHTER GRANT (GRANT WILL ALWAYS BE IN CAPS BECAUSE HES A FIREFIGHTER).
Here’s his chance to get the first rose…. And he gets some kissing action… Wutttttt….with the glass of champagne… Do you FIREFIGHTER GRANT. Do you. No rose though. YOU ATE STILL A FIREFIGHTER.
Back to the hotel. Wells gets the sympathy talk from JoJo and makes the most if it. Gets JoJo to laugh, he’s a Nashville DJ, he should be able to ad-lib right here. He has a blood hound named Carl. I’m done with him. Get rid of him now JoJo. Do it for humanity.
Luke gets some time and he should. War vet. He should go to the finals. Anywho, him and JoJo have some heart to heart with a Spanish guitar playing in the back. And then he goes in for the kill… Sometimes you just gotta go in and see what’s happening… First kiss complete.
The rose goes to:
WELLS!?!?!?!? Man… Didn’t see that coming… The DJ for the win.
Back to the house:
Derek gets the one on one date. JoJo driving an ol school whip (she does look pretty dang good by the way)… They hop on a private jet. And fly over San Fransisco and decide to check out the city. JoJo leans in for the kiss! Ok then JoJo…. Do your thing lady. They talk about past relationships… And then Derek says the usual “close myself off” spill… JoJo talks about Ben… In the end, Derek gets rose #2. Gotta a feeling he will be a fan favorite.
Back to the house:
This JoJo song the guys are signing is awful. And Chad (HEYYY CHAD) let’s his feelings known:
“Stay away from the nice guys.”
Daniel from Canada joins in on some bro love
There’s talk of a dude protein shake. Huh. They hi-five each other. I checked out for about 45 seconds after that to gather my thoughts again.
Date card #2:
Chad (shakes his head in agreement)
The date card #2 dudes head to LA Live and ESPN Studios and have some fun with the Sports Nation guys Max Kellerman and Marcellus Wiley in a game called Bachelor nation. Fun times. Dudes had to do dances.
And then…. Chad (HEYY Chad) just picks up JoJo… More hate from the dudes.
Chad to JoJo: “you’re starting off a little naggy here.” Chad is the best “heel” (means being a wrestling bad guy) in bachelor or bachelorette history. With that said… JoJo will keep him around FOREVER. She likes bad boys (her words not mine).
Later, Chad drops some real honesty… And tells the fellas, he doesn’t know if he wants to marry JoJo, because he doesn’t know her…. He gets points for that.
Date card group #2 continued… The Sports Nation guys did a list of their ranking of the guys:
2. Chad (he will continue to hate till eternity)
1. James T (the dude with the guitar… They always get ahead in life).
On to the nightcap with the Date card #2 guys:
James (the dude with the guitar) basically says he has a good heart and doesn’t work out. But loves to eat. He gets half credit from me for the eating part. Aight. Was waiting for him to break out his guitar. To no avail. But we did get a spoken word/song… JoJo cries… He goes in for a kiss…James T is winning right now.
Chad then dissects every dude on the date… I mean he should sign with WWE immediately. BUT….
he then gets his one on one time with JoJo…and says he has a Maltese puppy from his mom that died. Explains his “being angry” spill. Don’t want to wish tragedy on anyone. They both go to a wishing well… And she (you guessed it) swaps tongue with Chad.
The date card #2 rose goes to….James T. Guitar. Spoken word poem. JoJo cried. It was a slam dunk. Chad ponders why not me in his first person reaction.
Final Rose ceremony/ cocktail party:
JoJo gets out the limo and BAM! Chad has a glass of wine waiting on her.. And gets some extra one on one time… Well played Chad. Well. Played.
Obviously the guys are pissed and mad they didn’t think of it. So Alex (the marine) pulls Chad to the side and then the other guys confront him. Chad laughs while eating finger foods.
Chase then pulls JoJo to the side, and out of nowhere generates fake snow. He says he snowboards. Man, the bachelorette crew can make anything happen.
Back to the star of the show… “HEYY CHAD.”
He has a plate of food that I would be proud of. Nothing but meat. Wings, roast beef, ham, the whole nine.
“He would take an IV of meat if he could,” one contestant says.
So all the guys are super mad… And they all confront Chad.
“It was like watching west side story, a bunch of guys surrounding me,” Chad says… I laughed aloud.
Chad cuts Evan off from time with JoJo .. Evan is upset… So Alex (the marine) goes to confront Chad. Good stuff here.
“You think I’m scared of you bro?” Chad says…
“You’re a meltdown.”
Could a small fisticuffs ensue later in the season? Heck why not.
So we FINALLY (after 3,457 hours in this episode) get to the final rose ceremony
The final rose guys that will advance are:
James T (guitar dude)
Alex (the marine)
Jordan (Aaron Rodgers brother)
Daniel (Chads bro)
Final rose goes to (shocker):
Wife will continue to watch the show moving forward.
Episode 3 next week. TWO EPISODES. TWO NIGHTS. Peace out.