Buenos Aries Bachlorette 

Buenos Aires

JoJo and Chris Harrison have a heart to heart. She looks great in the red dress.

Wife: “That red dress is everything.”
Three dates

Group date

One one date

And a two on one date

Date card #1 (one on one) goes to:

Wells
Wells: “I’m the only guy that hasn’t kissed her.”

Wife: “Hahahahah.”

Wife is cold blooded y’all.
The guys talk for about 87 mins about why Wells hasn’t kissed her. This is a thing.
Wife: “this is weird.”
She’s not joking. There’s two naked girls in water in a ceiling, dunno what the hell is happening.

They call this performance art.

They attempt to kiss… Wells…Kisses her on the cheek.
Wife:”that was the most awkward kiss in the history of tv.”

“And I’m obsessed with that football players (Jordan) quads.”

WILL WE HAVE A NO CHAD TALK FOR ONE NIGHT? Let’s hope America.”
They both get in the ceiling of water… And alas, he kisses her. 

“Wells is not a good kisser,”

wife chimes in.
At dinner Wells talk about the ex. JoJo basically says that he’s in the friend zone. Y’all saw it coming. Wells goes home.

Wife: “did he just wipe away imaginary tears?”

Dang.

Date card #2 (group date)

Luke

Robby

Jordan

James

Alex
The dudes go around a entertainment district… James T (guitar dude) basically says he can’t compete at anything and that he looks horrible. Man up dude. 
So James T gets a kiss courtesy of a penalty kick from a soccer game.

And then the lame saying of the entire season:
James T: “I’m on the train to I love JoJoville.”
Nah. James T. Nah.
So Luke and JoJo have a deep kiss face session.
Wife: “they need Telenovela music here.”

“And you remember that Ricky Martin and Christina aguilera song, nobody wants to be lonely? That’s what should also be playing here.”
Wife on fire.
Then… James T comes at JoJo and tattle tells on Jordan… Over a card game. For real. 

“I feel like this season should be the season of hate,” wife says… 

Agree. Why hate on another man. Just do what you can do to be the last man standing. I digress.
So then JoJo confronts Jordan… About being Jordan Rogers…and it’s about a card game. A.CARD.GAME.
And then.. Jordan confronts James T…and rightfully so… Entitlement from a card game?!? Nah James T… Take your guitar and go home man.
At the end of the date… The rose goes to…Luke… He will no doubt be one of the final two.
Date #3 (two on one date)

Derek vs Chase
And we Tango. Both guys have zero clue what to do. Me either. If I were there and had to Tango, JoJo would be injured. I also just wrote that because I was completely checked out of that segment. Made no sense.
On to the dinner… JoJo has one on one’s with both guys… And in the end… CHASE GOT THE ROSE. UPSET OF THE SEASON SO FAR. WOW.
Wife: “WUTTTTT!!!”
Derek melts down in the van. Tragic.

Rose Ceremony (only three free roses):

Robby

Jordan
Final rose:

AND JOJO LEAVES… What the WHAT?!?

wife: “this is seriously like a Telenovela.”
She give two roses out.. One to Alex and the other to James T. 
Meh.
On to next week.

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