Chad, ex Chad, and more Chad talk (I can’t escape him)

After a few weeks off… JoJo and the boy’s return to action…. And we begin episode 5:
The boys are hyped. Long live JoJo… Chad is dead and gone… And they break out in song… And have a protein powder funeral. “Death to tyrants,” they bark.
Then bad Chad comes back to the house. They try to bait bad Chad… Chad responds.

“The only thing I can think of is to get physical.”
Wife: “why are they having a conversation with him… He’s going home.”
Chad to Jordan: “you’ve been mad at me since I came here.”
Wife: “yeah, because you’re hot!”
*sigh*
Parting shot: “bye Chad.”
*sigh*
Another parting shot…
Wife: “you know that Chad was a marine also!??”
*sigh*
She can’t let him go.
Chase has two of those new inflatable knocked ball contraptions.
Chase says… “I guess you have to knock me off my feet again.”
Nah playa. Take that line right back to where you got it.
Then… Everybody remaining tries to get their one on one time with JoJo
Wife (shocker here): “I feel like I can see everybody now that Chad’s gone.”
HE HAS BEEN GONE FOR A FULL COMMERCIAL BREAK. HE IS NOT COMING BACK WIFE. IT IS OVER. BACHELOR IN PARADISE. AUGUST 2ND. WATCH HIM THEN.
Jordan (Aaron Rodgers brother) goes all in… In the corner. Not mad at It. Gotta get in how you fit in.
Rose ceremony:

Luke

Alex

Jordan

Derek

Robby

Chase

Wells

GRANT THE FIREFIGHTER

Vinny (Jon B lookalike)

James T (dude with the guitar)
Final Rose:

Evan (meh)

 

 

The guys are now headed to…

Uruguay
Uruguay. Grand Hotel. Not bad.
Date card (one on one):

Jordan

“Let’s deal the date, love JoJo.”
Then the guys hate on Aaron Rodgers brother. The rest of the guys must be Chicago Bears or Minnesota Viking fans. Only thing I can think of.
Back to the date…

They swim with seals. Ride a boat. Good times.

Jordan says he’s falling in love with JoJo… And then JoJo drops the bomb of knowing one of Jordan’s ex… Awkward.
He is rattled… But holds it together and throws the I was worried about my career and not her deal.
Wife: “Is it ok for me to say that wasn’t an answer?”
At this point I’m glad Chad wasn’t mentioned. We’ve had a breakthrough ladies and gentleman.
And you knew… JoJo was giving Jordan a rose. I’m betting he’s one of the final two in the finale.

And then they dance in the street.
The guys read a gossip Mag about JoJo, which said she was sneaking around with her ex. NAMED CHAD. I CANNOT GET AWAY FROM THIS DUDE.
Wife chimes in: “Chadddd.”
WHYYYYYYYY.
The producers show her the gossip magazine, and she is RATTLED. And she cries. I don’t like crying JoJo.

She talks to the guys about it. They console her.

 

Date card #2 (group date):

Luke

Derek

Chase

Even

James T

Vinny

GRANT THE FIREFIGHTER

Wells

Alex
Date card reads:

“I can’t stand to be away from you, love JoJo.”
Group date heads to some sand dunes:

SURFING ON SAND DUNES. WHY CANT WE HAVE THIS IS HUNTSVILLE. Upset about this.
Later that night.. All…ALL the dudes on the group date get their one liners in to try to get a leg up in the competition.
Wife: “This is the most boring episode.”
A) she’s right

B) AND NO CHAD WAS MENTIONED!!!!!! VICTORY!!!!!!!
Group date rose goes to:

Derek

 

Date card #3 (one on one):

Robby

Date card reads:

“Love is within our reach.”
JoJo and Robby jump off a cliff. They both magically have swim wear on. Almost like they knew they were gonna do that. Shocker.
At the dinner… Robby revels that his best friend died. Deep.

He tells her he’s falling in love with her. JoJo tongues him down. And… he gets a rose. Then they go to the beach and there’s fireworks. They kiss. Just another random walk in Uruguay and fireworks on the beach. Got it. 10-4.
Let’s pile on Derek in 3…2…1…

Alex starts in on Derek.
Wife : “Dear Regina George (Alex)

stop it. It was like if Mean Girls and the God Father had a baby. Except no one got murdered.”
Ooooo K…..
At the cocktail party

Alex talks to Robby, Chase, Alex, and Jordan.

They say there’s no click action going on against him. So there’s that.
Chris Harrison says that three guys will head home. Cue the drama music….
Final Rose ceremony:

Luke

Chase

Alex

James T (guitar dude)
Final rose goes to…

Wells
Me: “Dang, GRANT THE FIREFIGHTER IS GONE.”
Wife: “Bye Sqiudworth.”

“And bye.. Oh my T shirt is ripped EVAN!”
The hate lady. The. Hate.

See ya next week.

Life ain’t all about blue berries and paper airplanes. 

We pick up with Chris Harrison telling Chad he has to apologize.
“Sup,” Chad says as he walks back into the house.
Chad makes an apology.

“You ripped my shirt!” Evan says.
Uhh… who cares dude.
Anywho… Chad apologizes and says he will be respectful of everyone.

Pool Party:

JoJo comes to the house…

“She doesn’t like him (Chad) at all,” wife chimes in.

I can see that.
Guys doing guy stuff. Diving in pools and indulging in adult beverages.
Evan bleeds. He’s embarrassed.
Jordan (Aaron Rodgers brother) has a one on one.

Wife thinks they go good together.

“You’re just so smooth,” JoJo says.

Wish Jordan woulda just said… Shoot it’s God given. But I digress.

They kiss.
Chad has a one on one.

“Man, you’re lathered up,” says JoJo.

GET CHAD A HAM PLATE STAT!!!!!
“Why do they all have these stupid necklaces on,” wife asked.

Microphones wife. Microphones.

“They’re still stupid they look like those puka shell necklaces from the 90’s,” wife continues.
Chad pulls Derek to the side.

Derek is scared of Chad. Like he can’t talk. Like taking breaths while trying to talk while Chad states a hole through him.

CHAD RUNS THE HOUSE.
Rose ceremony (guys who made the cut):

GRANT THE FIREFIGHTER

Derek

Jordan (Aaron Rodgers brother)

Luke

Robby
Sorry… Wife chimes in “who’s James F? This is my first time seeing him.”
Ok back to the ceremony
Wells

James F.

Vinny

Daniel (Chad’s bro)

Alex (The Marine)
Final Rose goes to…. CHADDDDDDD

HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHAHHAHAAHAHAH

 
Wife on Nick B:

“I don’t even know who some of these guys are. They are like wallpaper.”
JoJo says the dudes are leaving the house for good and heading to… Pennsylvania!???
Bachelorette people. Why. Pennsylvania.

YOU WERE IN LA!!!!!!!
*sigh*

But then… The dudes are goin “muddin”
Definition of “muddin”: Get a jeep or truck. Drive crazy in mud. The end.
And then….

“Chad smiled! He looks so happy!”
WHY WIFE. WHY.
“And squid worth (GRANT THE FIREFIGHTER) has jeggings (jeans slash leggings) on.”
Good one wife.
Date card #1 goes to Luke (war vet):

I love you so “mush”the date card says.

They go to a hot tub.

They chat. Luke puts in his Mack Daddy mouth piece and throws out some one liners.

He’s a war vet. He should be automatically in the finals.

While at dinner… Luke discusses his life. And his life in the military. Got deep real quick. His friend was killed in Afghanistan. Deep. He deserves kisses from JoJo from now till next summer. And you DANG RIGHT HE GOT A ROSE.

And then Dan +Shay come out. And there’s smoke.. And Luke and JoJo slow dance while about 100 people watch. These Bachelorette folks just pull musicians out the wood work!
*my two cents: Luke and Jordan the last two standing*

 
Date card #2 (group date):

Derek

James T

Daniel

Chase

Wells

Vinny

James F

Evan

Grant

Jordan

Robby
“We could go all the way” the date card says.
They head to Heinz field and hang out with Hines Ward and Bret Keisel and Ben Rolthisberger

They do football drills. James T (guitar dude) gets cut. They wrap his head like he’s in a MASH unit.

Jordan is the all time quarterback. He should be. He can actually professionally throw a football.

And Evan has a bloody nose again. I know y’all were all shocked. But he looked like he could catch a football. So he got a pass from me.

Play of the game… Derek takes away the football away and wins for the Blue team., which gets the team alone time with JoJo later in the night.
Robby goes in! Throws JoJo on the pool table.. Wutttttt… Do it then Robby.
The rose goes to…..

Jordan. The quarterback. JoJo REALLY like em. One of the final two for sure.
THE MAIN EVENT:

Alex (Marine) vs CHADDDDDDDD

Two men enter. One man leaves.

They should both just fight in the woods and throw boulders at each other, and fight with logs.
JoJo and the boys take a hike. Alex gets first crack at talking with JoJo. And talks about Chad. Ya know, instead of talking about being with JoJo… Alex decides to talk about Chad. Not a good move… Or so I thought…
Chad has his one on one. JoJo confronts him about threatening people.
“I mean, JoJo what do you want from Chad!” Wife yells.
WHY WIFE. WHYYYYY

 

Back to Chad and Alex.

“Life ain’t all about blue berries and paper airplanes,” Chad says.

Knowledge Chad. Drop that knowledge.

 

Alex wasn’t having it.
In the end… JoJo went with… Alex!

Chad fuming.
Back at the house some bearded dude takes Chad’s bag… Dudes in the house go bonkers. Like they won a world championship.
Chad is outside in the woods. This feels like a scary movie. It appears that Chad walks 4,432 miles back to the house, P-O’ed all the way there. I bet he knocked out about 300 push ups AND sit ups for every 10 miles.

Chad knocks on the door at the house… Guys inside are nervous…
We have to wait till June 20th.
LETS JUST CALL IT CHADS REVENGE.

Bachelorette episode 3, Part 1… Chad is raging, and takes my wife on an emotional roller coaster.

Opening scene. Animal house. We’ve all been there. Let move it on to….
“HEYYY CHADD.”
“He’s so hot,” says wife. Spoiler here.
Chad and Daniel having another bro moment. Talking calories, the whole nine.
Chris Harrison talks date parameters
First date card:

Chase

“Let’s get physical… Love JoJo.
Chad. Upset.

“He’s the hottest guy there,” wife chimes in. We.Get.It.
To the date between chase and JoJo

And it’s yoga… Not mad at it….

But it’s hot yoga.

Instructor starts saying…

“Hey”

“Hey”

“Hey”

Then what she says… Her words, not mine

“It’s kinda of like an anger-gasm.”

Got it.

More screaming while standing up… Or anger-gasm.
Back to the house. Daniel and Chad pumping iron. Like Venice beach style.
Annd…. Back to yoga

And JoJo has mounted chase. They are face to face. Someone burps. Could be a problem.
WIFE ALERT:

“That’s like the total opposite of what I want to do, because I don’t want you breathing on me .”
Then the kissing begins. Knew that was coming. Yab-Yum successful.

To the dinner date…

Chase came from a divorced family… He was eight.

“Marriage is forever,” he says.

And on cue. JoJo hands over the first rose of the night.

And magically… In the midst of trees and a perfectly lighted backyard.. Charles Kelly with a band. Just never know what’s outside. Hell, I may run outside tonight and see if I can find Chris Stapleton.

Date card #2 (group)

Jordan- Aaron Rodgers brother

Grant- “HEYYY CHADD”

Wells

James F

Christian

Daniel

Vinny

Nick

Evan

Alex

Chad

Ali
“I don’t want to go with 12 guys,” Chad says.
“You think she wants to have a whole day with you?” Jordan says.

 

Jordan continues:

“What ever team Chad’s on, hopes its a bench press contest and not a spelling contest,”
AHHHHH snap Jordan AKA Aaron Rodgers brother!!

Chad:

“You’re a 27 year old failed football player. You’ve done nothing with your life beside throw a piece of leather,” Chad responds.
Alex (the marine):

“There’s a solid piece of s$&$ right over here.”
Chad:

“And there’s a p$&@!” Over there.
If there could be a wrestling royal rumble, Chad would be alone. But Chad does what chad wants to do. And he walks alone (insert 80’s hero music).

The date group heads to a theatre, JoJo looks smokin.
They have to tell sex stories.

Chad ain’t HAVIN none of it.
But Evan…. Oh Evan… Is about to hate on Chad on stage. His bachelorette buddies are gonna let him walk on the plank by himself. God speed Evan. God speed.
GRANT THE FIREFIGHTER IS UP FIRST:

16 yrs old. He text a girl. Sleeping bags. Spotlight. Cops. He did the deed.
There’s a guy discussing an alphabet.
JORDAN:

man region joke
There a girl with a mustache joke
“There a guy with a fade, and I love him to!” Wife chimes in.

*sigh*
Cut to the main part:

Evan.. Bout to seal his fate… He drops the hate on Chad jokes:

“I want to tell the dangers of using steroids.

We get the danger of steroid overdose.”

CHAD IS ANGRY. REALLLLLY ANGRY.
GIVE CHAD A HAM AND ROAST BEEF PLATE STAT!!!!!
Chad of course rips Evans shirt as he walks down to the stage.
Chad then tries to kiss JoJo. NOPPPE. He throws the mic. CHAD NEEDS A HAM AND ROAST BEEF PLATE STAT!!!!!
He punched a door. Bro’s do that from time to time. You’ve seen it before.
“You’re gonna die,” Chad says to Evan.
Boys.. Y’all let him walk on that plank.
Chad then says after hands are bloodied:

“If I can’t lift weights,”

Of course he goes there.
GET CHAD A HAM AND ROAST BEEF PLATE STAT!!!!!!!
Group date guys hang out at night (most notables):

Jordan opens up… And lays a kiss on JoJo… Y’all know he’s not going anywhere. He will be there for the long haul.
Alex (marine)

“I’m ride or die” he says.
Chad tries to interrupt a one on one. Starts whistling and trying to mess up another dudes moment. Not cool.
AND WE HAVE A BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!
Wife: “I don’t like Chad anymore. I like the guy with the fade.”
That would be Vinny.
Chad then tells other guys, that he doesn’t start things he’s not a jerk
Wife: “Well Chad has a point.”
BREAKTHROUGH RUINED.
Evan is mad cause he shirt got ripped.

Chad tells Evan to stay away.
“I mean he hasn’t been looking for fights,” wife says.
BREAKTHROUGH IS DESTROYED FOREVER.

Date card #3 (one on one)

James T. (The guitar guy)

“Let’s kick it old school the note says.

Chad hate:

He says GRANT THE FIREFIGHTER looks like a sponge bob character.
Wife laughs:

“Hahaha Sqiudworth.”
BREAKTHROUGH IS CRUSHED TO OBLIVION.
Evan tells JoJo that if chad stays here, I’m leaving
“BYE EVAN! HEYYY CHAD!”
BREAK.THROUGH.GONE.TO ETERNITY.
“And she gave Evan a kiss on the cheek,” wife says… Meaning Evan’s out.
JoJo gives a rose to.. Wait… She pulls Evan to the side… Wife chimes in

“When girls talk to you in the past tense…”

And then JoJo shows Evan the door…. WAIT WHAT THE!?!?

EVAN GOT A ROSE!?!?!?!?!?!??!??!??!??
I proceed to get hit in the arm by the wife

“See! I told ya!”
CHAD NEEDS A HAM AND ROAST BEEF PLATE STAT!!!!
“Is this a real scenario right now!?! I’m just being curious right now,” Chad says.

“You’re actually vibing this dude right now?!?”
JoJo. Not feeling it.
Next day:

Guys are afraid to sleep in the same room with Chad. Alright guys. Let’s be serious. It is not that deep.
They hired a security guard for Chad. Once again guys. It’s not that deep.
Back to one on one date with James T.

Old school date. JoJo looks really good.

“She looks like Kelly Clarkson,” wife says.

So there’s that from left field.
Back to the date

There’s a lady named June. She can swing dance. She’s 92. And awesome.

And then we have a swing dance party outside. Just walk outside and folks are swing dancing huh? Got it.

James T and JoJo sit in a old school car and…

“Friend zone.com,” wife says.

Looks that way. Looks.That.Way.

James T has a moment. He was called Luke Longneck. JoJo laughed at him. Anyway, he goes into the ahh shucks I’m not the best looking guy deal. JoJo tells him that’s he’s a good person and what not. And shocker… He gets a rose. Well played James T. Well played.

And OF COURSE HE BRINGS OUT THE GUITAR. GUYS ALWAYS GET AHEAD WITH A GUITAR.

Back at the house

Daniel tells his bro Chad to tone it down.

Chad eats lettuce. The end.
Rose ceremony:

No cocktail party tonight. Right into the roses. But she wants an all day pool party.
Evan tracks Chris Harrison outside… And whines about his shirt getting ripped etc. Chris Harrison in no certain words said.. DUDE MAN UP!
Chris goes and talks to Chad… And Chad says he tried to push me. Daniel tries to take up for his bro inside the house. Chris Harrison tells Chad to go into the house to apologize not before

Saying…
“I’m gonna cut everyone’s heads and arms off and mess up this entire thing.”
CHAD RAGING. PART ONE IS OVER.

Bachelorette recap episode two

So here’s what I found out in the first episode…. My wife loves Chad or AKA “HEYYY Chad”

Other than that, everything’s a blur. So now on to episode 2 (hour one):
Chad (HEYYY CHAD) comes with the zinger with a drink toast in the morning…

“Beautiful girl beatiful life… F&$@ you guys Imma make her my wife.”
If this was Bad Girls club , boys edition, glass would be broken. And their would be blood. Lots of it.
So on to the group and one on one dates
First date card:

Luke

Grant

Will

Evan

Daniel

Vinnie

Ali

James F

Will

Robby
We’re in LA… There’s a limo on fire. CHASE says, “Is JoJo in there should I be a hero? Nah bro, just extinguish that weak one liner.
And then a 90’s pop hot girl music video breaks out… JoJo comes out of a fire truck with a hose and puts out the fire from the limo. So there’s that.
And to end the segment… Chad, sorry, “HEYY CHAD” throws out that everyone on the first date are “B” teamers. Got it.
Fire academy competition:

I know we have to have filler for what seems like a six hour show each week, but these have ZERO effect on who JoJo will choose, UNLESS YOU ATE A FIRE FIGHTER NAMED GRANT.
Wells looks like he’s about to lose his life, and about to pass out during the competition, and then Wells goes in with the “when I talk to you I feel like I’m gonna faint” one liners.
*sigh*
Back to the house:

James T. (The guitar dude) with a song that the rest of the dudes sing along to.

And Chad, sorry, “HEYY CHADD” puts things in perspective… With pure 100 percent hate.

I’m with Chad. This boy band song deal is worth the hate.
Back to firefighter competition:

GRANT THE FIREFIGHTER is In a competition with Luke and Wells to save JoJo from the top of a building:

1. Wells was done before this started.

2. Luke and Grant and going at it… In the end it was… GRANT THE FIREFIGHER. HES A FIRE FIGHTER. HE IS A PROFESSIONAL FIREDFIGHTER HE WAS GOING TO DO WORK! DUH!

And to add the icing on the cake… He carried her out of the building…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Good stuff right there.

The guys head to a hotel and get to know JoJo… Starting with the FIREFIGHTER GRANT (GRANT WILL ALWAYS BE IN CAPS BECAUSE HES A FIREFIGHTER).

Here’s his chance to get the first rose…. And he gets some kissing action… Wutttttt….with the glass of champagne… Do you FIREFIGHTER GRANT. Do you. No rose though. YOU ATE STILL A FIREFIGHTER.

Back to the hotel. Wells gets the sympathy talk from JoJo and makes the most if it. Gets JoJo to laugh, he’s a Nashville DJ, he should be able to ad-lib right here. He has a blood hound named Carl. I’m done with him. Get rid of him now JoJo. Do it for humanity.

Luke gets some time and he should. War vet. He should go to the finals. Anywho, him and JoJo have some heart to heart with a Spanish guitar playing in the back. And then he goes in for the kill… Sometimes you just gotta go in and see what’s happening… First kiss complete.
The rose goes to:

WELLS!?!?!?!? Man… Didn’t see that coming… The DJ for the win.
Back to the house:

Derek gets the one on one date. JoJo driving an ol school whip (she does look pretty dang good by the way)… They hop on a private jet. And fly over San Fransisco and decide to check out the city. JoJo leans in for the kiss! Ok then JoJo…. Do your thing lady. They talk about past relationships… And then Derek says the usual “close myself off” spill… JoJo talks about Ben… In the end, Derek gets rose #2. Gotta a feeling he will be a fan favorite.
Back to the house:

This JoJo song the guys are signing is awful. And Chad (HEYYY CHAD) let’s his feelings known:

“Stay away from the nice guys.”

Daniel from Canada joins in on some bro love

There’s talk of a dude protein shake. Huh. They hi-five each other. I checked out for about 45 seconds after that to gather my thoughts again.
Date card #2:

Jordan

Christian

Nick

James

James T

Alex

Chad (shakes his head in agreement)
The date card #2 dudes head to LA Live and ESPN Studios and have some fun with the Sports Nation guys Max Kellerman and Marcellus Wiley in a game called Bachelor nation. Fun times. Dudes had to do dances.

And then…. Chad (HEYY Chad) just picks up JoJo… More hate from the dudes.

Chad to JoJo: “you’re starting off a little naggy here.” Chad is the best “heel” (means being a wrestling bad guy) in bachelor or bachelorette history. With that said… JoJo will keep him around FOREVER. She likes bad boys (her words not mine).

Later, Chad drops some real honesty… And tells the fellas, he doesn’t know if he wants to marry JoJo, because he doesn’t know her…. He gets points for that.
HOUR TWO

Date card group #2 continued… The Sports Nation guys did a list of their ranking of the guys:

3. Alex

2. Chad (he will continue to hate till eternity)

1. James T (the dude with the guitar… They always get ahead in life).
On to the nightcap with the Date card #2 guys:

James (the dude with the guitar) basically says he has a good heart and doesn’t work out. But loves to eat. He gets half credit from me for the eating part. Aight. Was waiting for him to break out his guitar. To no avail. But we did get a spoken word/song… JoJo cries… He goes in for a kiss…James T is winning right now.

Chad then dissects every dude on the date… I mean he should sign with WWE immediately. BUT….
he then gets his one on one time with JoJo…and says he has a Maltese puppy from his mom that died. Explains his “being angry” spill. Don’t want to wish tragedy on anyone. They both go to a wishing well… And she (you guessed it) swaps tongue with Chad.

The date card #2 rose goes to….James T. Guitar. Spoken word poem. JoJo cried. It was a slam dunk. Chad ponders why not me in his first person reaction.
Final Rose ceremony/ cocktail party:

JoJo gets out the limo and BAM! Chad has a glass of wine waiting on her.. And gets some extra one on one time… Well played Chad. Well. Played.
Obviously the guys are pissed and mad they didn’t think of it. So Alex (the marine) pulls Chad to the side and then the other guys confront him. Chad laughs while eating finger foods.
Chase then pulls JoJo to the side, and out of nowhere generates fake snow. He says he snowboards. Man, the bachelorette crew can make anything happen.

Back to the star of the show… “HEYY CHAD.”

He has a plate of food that I would be proud of. Nothing but meat. Wings, roast beef, ham, the whole nine.

“He would take an IV of meat if he could,” one contestant says.

So all the guys are super mad… And they all confront Chad.
“It was like watching west side story, a bunch of guys surrounding me,” Chad says… I laughed aloud.

Chad cuts Evan off from time with JoJo .. Evan is upset… So Alex (the marine) goes to confront Chad. Good stuff here.
“You think I’m scared of you bro?” Chad says…

“You’re a meltdown.”

Could a small fisticuffs ensue later in the season? Heck why not.
So we FINALLY (after 3,457 hours in this episode) get to the final rose ceremony

The final rose guys that will advance are:

James T (guitar dude)

Derek

Wells

Alex (the marine)

Christian

Robby

Luke

Chase

Jordan (Aaron Rodgers brother)

Grant (FIREFIGHTER)

Ali

Daniel (Chads bro)

James F.

Nick

Vinny

Evan
Final rose goes to (shocker):

“HEYYYY CHAD!”

Wife will continue to watch the show moving forward.
Episode 3 next week. TWO EPISODES. TWO NIGHTS. Peace out.

The Bachelorette stream of consciousness  

So I want to let everyone on a guilty pleasure of mine. I enjoy reality TV. And It’s all my wife’s fault. Not really, I enjoy entertainment… And reality TV is, well, entertaining, and crazy weird. And I love it. One show that I’ve always watched (for the most part) is the Bachelor or Bachelorette franchise. It’s over done, there’s a lot of crying, the whole nine, and yes I watch it like I’ve watched professional wrestling my entire life. So while I have a little more free time during the late spring and summer before the “good” crazy returns (High School, college football), I decided that I’ll chat each week about JoJo and this season of the Bachelorette. It’s sort of like a stream of consciousness with added commentary from my better half. So without further ado…
Bachelorette episode 1

The dudes (quick synopsis with added quick hitters from the wife):

Jordan-hugged and held hands with her… Told a mom dad story… She told em he looked amazing…. And told him he’s hot. Aaron Rodgers brother. He will be hated on as long as he’s on the show. Count on it.

Derek- commercial banker… Threw out some one liners.

Grant- man… Threw out a one liner… Saying he’s not going to fall in love with two girls deal… Too deep to soon in my opinion.

James- boxing club owner… Said he came for a relationship… Not a rose… Uh huh.

Robby- competitive swimmer… He came with wine. He’s a favorite early on for that gesture, and they drank out the bottle. Like for real drank out the bottle before even stepping inside he house. Bonus points there. And JoJo said mom would like em. 10/10 for Robby. Nailed it

Alex- marine… He should be a finalist period for what he does for our country.

Will- was waiting for the first quirky dude… He brought cards… And tried to be funny… Wife says called him captain awkward.

Chad- wife immediately says “Heyyyy chad” meaning he’s great looking… He talked very low. Taking low tells me you know you think you’re elite.

Daniel- Canadian. Threw out the “dang Daniel” social media deal.

Ali- bartender. Wife says … He has crazy eyes… And he had high water pants. Doesn’t look good Ali.

James Taylor- singer… Songwriter… Wife doesn’t believe he has a job. He brought a guitar. And sang. And played more. We shall see.

Jonathan- he wore a kilt. Rowdy rowdy piper… He threw out a man region joke. Dunno about it.

Break from introductions and cut scenes to inside the house:

* all the guys hated on Jonathan from the jump… Haters everywhere… Which means he probably stays.*

*james Taylor continues to play guitar*

Back to dude intros out of the limousine:

Saint Nick- for real. A dude wore a Santa Claus outfit. No chance he makes it. Thanks for playing.

*wife likes Chad at this point. Likes his dry humor*

Chase- comes with a I “mustache you a question” but I will “shave it later”… Uh….

Rapid fire dudes in succession (not a ton of time here):

Jake- architect

Sal- another male region joke

Coley

Brandon- quick

James S-bachelor super fan. Wife says that equals stalker.

Nick S- did the splits. Nah man.

Vinny- toast. he brought a piece of toast. Like toast that I want to throw some jelly on. Hmm…

Peter

Evan- he brought a heart pillow

Wells- imposter Ben (from last seasons Bachelor) the wife says.. BUT.. he brought a quartet… AND IT WAS ALL-4-ONE. THEY SANG I SWEAR. AUTOMATICALLY IN THE FINALS.

Christian- rode in on a motorcycle.

Luke- War Vet. Automatically in the finals, and rightfully so for his service for our country. Unicorn horse and all.
*we skipped the rest of the show and got to the important part. Final rose ceremony.*

Dudes who got roses:
Luke

Wells

James T

Grant

Derek

Christian

Chad-Wife says for the zillonith time, “HEYYY Chad… I mean… I like him a lot.” Think I got wife.
Chase

Alex
Robbie

Brandon

James F

Ali- crazy

Saint Nick- HE FOR REAL MADE IT.THE DUDE IN THE DIRTY SANTA SUIT MADE THE CUT. SOCIETY IS DOOMED.

Will

James S.

Eddie

Evan
And the Final Rose goes to…..

Daniel
Afterwards all the dudes hug it out

Dude with the kilt upset with Saint Nick getting a rose…

So there’s that.

On to episode 2.

THOUGHTS ON HUMP DAY

In honor of Wednesday, AKA… Hump Day…

So What did college football fans learn from Last Weekends games?
OKLAHOMA SHOULD HAVE LOST TO UTEP ALONG WITH  K-STATE:

(Source:crimsonandcreammachine.com)

Yep, when I saw Bob Stoops and Company on that late Saturday night in week one against UTEP, I just knew this could be a shaky year. UTEP had plenty of chances to win that game, Landry Jones looked like he was making his 2nd career start and the defense looked lost without Brent Venables at the helm.  That all came true this past Saturday as the ageless one Bill Synder worked his magic in Norman coming away with the 24-19 win. Look, a top program will lose a game here or there, but that just doesn’t happen to a Stoops program at home. Landry Jones had issues, Blake Bell fumbled some TD’s away, Sooner land just doesn’t look right. And at 2-1, Can you totally believe that they will win games against Texas, West Virginia, or Notre Dame? Gonna be interesting. Oh, almost forgot, The Mask has to get some love:

ARE THE GOLDEN DOMERS BACK?

(Source:Toledoblade.com)

I have no clue if Notre Dame will even win another game this season. What I do know after 4 games is that this program is different. No not just one thing, but rather, from top to bottom. From Jack Swarbrick, to Brain Kelly, to his coaching staff, to his players on the field. It’s just different. Anyone that has watched their games thus far can see it. And any objective Notre Dame fan can see that this process has been going on the day Brain Kelly made his way to South Bend. Go check his resume. He’s won everywhere he’s been. Look at what he’s done in his third year and beyond at each of his coaching stops. He’s been smart enough to realize that in order for the Irish to one day compete at the BCS Title level they should be at, YOU MUST GET GREAT PLAY FROM BOTH LINES OF SCRIMMAGE. The Irish have recruited and secured a pretty solid defense (with some youngsters in the secondary) that will only get better as each game passes by. And once Devonte Neal gets some room on a punt return, he will be as electrfying as any player in the country  down the line. Once again, alot of work still to be done, which includes the maturation of Everett Golson (who will be a star), and the offense, but you have to like what you see from the Irish as a team after 4 games.

IT WAS ALL ABOUT LSU, NOT AUBURN:

(Source:espn.com)

Before this game even kicked off, many may have thought that the LSU/Auburn game would be a complete blowout. And Honestly I have no problems with that. Auburn had look putrid to that point, limping into their home opener 1-2, LSU had punched each team they had faced thus far in the mouth (albeit against inferior opponents). But to me from the get go, This was all about LSU. Zach Mettenberger is an upgrade at QB for the Tigers. Still, he has never started a road game in the SEC. You add a division game, on the road, that’s at night, at Jordan-Hare Stadium, a hell of a place to play, with a team that has nothing to lose, and everything to gain, and Suprise! You have a tougher game then expected. Remember LSU had a chance to go up 7-0 before a fumble at the 1 in the 1st Quarter, resulted in a safety by the Tigers later in the game. Yes Auburn had their chances to come away with the upset, but like I had thought, Mettenberger needed to get his feet wet in a hostile environment, and did as he played his best late (which included that Spencer Ware completion late in the 4th). He will be better for it down the line.

THOSE NOLES LOOKED GOOD, BE AFRAID COLLEGE FOOTBALL WORLD:

(Source:sports.yahoo.com)

This entire season could turn upside down on it’s head by the time we reach November, but to me there are only about 8-9 teams that I can see winning a National Title. Florida State is one of them. I think any college football fan can see that after the big win over Clemson Saturday night. It’s like everything has finally come together for this team. They have a sudden explosive offense (EJ Manuel-482 yds of offense, 4 TD’s, Chris Thompson, James Wilder Jr, Greg Dent, Rodney Smith) and we knew about that grown man of a defense. NOW… there should be no let downs whatsoever between now and a big game in Blacksburg against Va. Tech November 8th, and Florida to close the regular season. From what the country has seen thus far, The Noles are legit… and legit teams don’t lose games they should win in blowouts, PERIOD.

REALITY SHOW RUMBLINGS:

Anyone that follows this blog knows that I watch Reality TV, especially any and all of the Real Housewives shows on Bravo. the RHONY (Real Housewives of New York for those that aren’t down with the lingo) episode that aired Monday, was like a freestyle rap battle from start to finish. You Had Aviva going hard in the paint at Ramona at a restaurant… literally everything came out between the ladies, and I was all in. Yep 29 year old married man, all in on Monday night with this barrage of insults and comebacks between two ladies that I don’t know on Bravo. Good stuff… and I CANT WAIT for part one of the RHONJ (Figure those initials out on your own) reunion show this Sunday. Even with watching some reality shows Monday, You better believe I didn’t miss what the heck happen up in the Pacific Northwest:


No words. And the problem I have honestly besides the obvious of Green Bay getting jobbed out of a game, is that the NFL thinks that the common fan, much less anyone that covers or watches the NFL is ignorant to the fact that we can’t see blatant mistakes being made across the league since Week 1. I was one that thought for the most part the replacement refs were doing an OK job, but the last two weeks of the season, has just been sickening bad. Nothing else to really say. Just terrible that this is happening, and now we are seeing calls, horrendous calls influencing wins and losses that could ultimately cost a team a Wild Card or playoff berth. Man, man, man.

Will be back Friday for a CFB Week 5 preview!